I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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