You really coming over, don't trick.
did you get engaged???
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
