The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
