You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
