he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
