We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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