You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
