They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You left your phone here
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