then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize