The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
