Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
