You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
