just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
