is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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