please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
jump out the window naked night went bad
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
