I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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