I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
