508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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