No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
