The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
