i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
