I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize