your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
