I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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