so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
