I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
