ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
send nudes
from the living room?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
