No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
