i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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