And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
