We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
