Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize