I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize