Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
