we have pet lesbian snakes
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Randomize
