Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My dick has a subreddit
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
