hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
