it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
