shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
