thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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