What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
