So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
