I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
