It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
