I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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