i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
