dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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