i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
