you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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