Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
