it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
