he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize