They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
