I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
