We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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