she kept yelling 'call me bella'
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
