Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just want nice things and good sex
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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