1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
